Healing Pie {Caramel Apple Cherry Pie}

11 Nov

Sometimes you just need to bake a pie – even if you don’t really know how to make one. So was the case with me a couple of weeks ago. After suffering one of the biggest disappointments of my life to date {which probably speaks more to the charmed nature of my life, rather than to the gravity of the situation}, I had been spending more than my fair share of time on the couch. And even though I knew I needed that time to rest {or at least my mom said I did}, I was getting a little antsy by the end of a couple of days!

Thank goodness my new Better Homes and Gardens came somewhere in that time period and I got inspired to make the delicious-looking Caramel Apple Cherry Pie featured on the cover. The act of baking this pie would become symbolic of so many things in my life right now, not the least of which is the promise of the beautiful baby that Adam and I will someday hold in our arms even though this time around ended in miscarriage.

Please note, I did NOT make this beautiful creation :)

So mere hours after having received the magazine in the mail, my sweet husband was picking up the ingredients to make a caramel apple cherry pie. The act of pulling out all of my beloved baking ingredients and dishes felt like therapy.  It reminded me of all the things I love about baking that I had been missing lately, as work and life got in the way. Turning up my favorite music in the kitchen {it was most likely The Weepies on this and most days}. Enjoying time to just be alone with my thoughts while still feeling productive. The anticipation that comes with trying something new. Filling the house with sweet smells and anxiously awaiting the return of my favorite taste-tester.

The makings of a pie crust.

Just by nature of the fact that I was up and in the kitchen, I could feel myself returning to normal. And the simple act of doing these familiar things continued me right along the path to healing.

So that all sounds great, right?  Well, here’s the thing – this pie is a lot of work! And it didn’t exactly turn out like the pictures. I had a lot of trouble with the crust, which kept wanting to sadly sink down into itself {metaphor for my life much?}.

The crust is still looking pretty promising at this point.

When Adam left for a movie, I was desperately trying to salvage the pie crust while stirring what felt like 17 pots and pans on the stove … there was the cranberry/cherry compote, the apple mixture … okay, I guess that’s only two, but with all of the prep bowls, pots, and pans; there was quite a bit of clean-up to be done.

Starting the cranberry/cherry compote.

Yummy pie filling!

When it was all said and done, I had a finished pie. It wasn’t pretty {even Instagram couldn’t hide its flaws!}, but it was tasty. I think I will have a better technique the next time I make a pie crust, which may or may not include buying a ready-made crust at the grocery store! I probably won’t make this particular pie again {yumminess to effort ratio was not quite high enough}, but at the end of the day, I was sharing the fruits of my afternoon with the one I love.

And all of this reminded me that, no matter how much you plan, or how hard you work; life doesn’t always turn out like the picture you have in your head. But you just have to keep going, love people well, and believe in the promise of what’s to come. And some days that promise is that of a much more successful day in the kitchen than this one; and others, it is the promise that one day Adam and I will have the beautiful baby we had already started to picture in our arms.

Yep – sad-looking pie!

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8 Responses to “Healing Pie {Caramel Apple Cherry Pie}”

  1. Bonnie November 11, 2012 at 8:06 pm #

    Kelli..I loved this piece. Such touching and beautiful writing…I love your sensitivity and anticipate with you holding your beautiful baby in your arms one day. Love you, Kelli! Bonnie

    • kpolon November 11, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

      Thanks so much, Bonnie! I can’t tell you how much it has meant to have our family’s love and encouragement these last few weeks! Adam and I can feel the love from across the country!

  2. Jean November 11, 2012 at 8:58 pm #

    This was so touching–I’m so grateful to hear you are healing and filled with hope. You and Adam are in our thoughts and prayers! Love, Jean

    • kpolon November 11, 2012 at 11:03 pm #

      Thanks, Jean! It really means so much to know you are thinking of and praying for us! Much love to your whole family!

  3. Rachel November 11, 2012 at 10:09 pm #

    So many things to say!
    I have loved stumbling on your blog.
    You are so beautifully real in your thoughts and in your writing.
    I hate to hear of you and Adam’s loss but ecstatic that you have each other and that one day you will extend your family.
    Your pie, as critical you are of it, looks so yummy. I wish I lived in VA to taste your creations.
    Keep up with the authenticity, creativity, and love…it’s inspiring!

    • kpolon November 12, 2012 at 9:22 am #

      Thanks so much, Rachel! I can’t tell you how much your thoughtful and kind words mean to me! I hope you’re doing well and that we can catch up soon!

  4. Emily November 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm #

    Just read this for the third time and tears continue to build up in my eyes. But I am now realizing that they are no longer tears of sorrow like when you first shared this news, but tears of hope for you and Adam to hold your baby in your arms one day and joy that you have each other to help one another heal. Thinking of you both. xoxo

    • kpolon November 12, 2012 at 9:38 am #

      Thanks, Friend! It means so much to know that you, and so many others, are just as hopeful as we are!

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